December 2nd, 12:27pm
Today is my last full day in Japan before I head home. This will be my last entry from Japan. I'm going to post it without edits, just to make sure that I don't censor anything I want to say.
All in all, this trip has been a mix of good and bad. I've seen some amazing places, met a personal hero in Hatsumi-soke and tried some weird and crazy things. I tried my best to get outside my comfort zone in small steps while still rewarding myself with some fun activities without feeling guilty. I've also been frustrated to tears by my taijutsu training, annoyed by people around me who think they founded the nation and totally perplexed by the transit system. I've been challenged and tested, and I feel like for every win, I've suffered two losses. That doesn't invalidate those wins, but there's one loss that stands out above the others.
Giving up taijutsu is that monumental loss. The weight of my decision really hit home the other night when I stayed up late watching a dvd about the history of the ninja with some of my colleagues. Being reminded about the struggles that the first ninja went through, and still go through today through misunderstandings and cultural perceptions, made me feel terrible for quitting. Being able to persevere and stand up to any shame is what defines the ninja. I couldn't persevere. I couldn't keep going.
The most logical reason for quitting is that taijutsu isn't my first love. Many people throw themselves into martial arts headfirst, let the arts define them and ultimately become shallow one-dimensional people. My goal was to be a balanced martial artist with my own interests, and that's a conceivable goal. I just don't love taijutsu enough to devote the time to it. Since it ranks somewhere around 3rd on my list of things I enjoy doing, I won't be able to put in the effort and time required to improve. At this rate, I'll be a green belt forever. It seemed like a good time to cut my losses.
The real reason that this logical reason works, however, is because of my pride. I've always hated being unskilled. I'm jealous of people who do well at things and find such great success where I can't seem to make headway. Aside from the people who have been at it for a month, I'm the worst ninja in my dojo. At the honbu dojo, even when it's packed with 200 people, I'm somewhere in the bottom 10. It's frustrating for me to feel that weak, and every time I throw a punch, I'm really hitting myself with it. If I didn't have this pride, I'd be fine with being a hobbyist martial artist and never getting any better. I could be a green belt my entire life and not care. I've just never been comfortable with being terrible at something.
While I've lost my taijutsu, I've regained some interest in video games and writing. I was affected deeply by the game centers and stores that I visited that placed as much reverence on my passion as I did. It helped me rekindle my waning love for an industry that's growing too fast for its own good, yet has little or no room for new employees. Whether it's through writing or some other avenue, I want a career that involves video games. That much, I'm absolutely sure of now.
I've also found a new aspect of communications that interests me. I've always liked the sound of the Japanese language. Personally, based on aesthetics, I'm just not a fan of other Asian languages. There's something about Japanese that grabs me, and I've decided after being surrounded by it for a month that I'd like to study it further when I get back. I could easily get a job teaching English out here, once I have my degree, and that might be an option once I get better. But I'm interested in translation and localization, as well. I think that my tendency towards simple, easy-to-understand writing would make me a natural fit. I'd love to help translate some games, and once I get a little more fluent in the language, I think I might start doing some in my spare time.
This is all long-term, mind you. I won't just pick up Japanese in a month, and my last attempt to learn the language didn't go very well. Still, it's something I'd like to pursue.
I also came to an odd realization the other night while talking to a friend. Jen and I talked in the past about how cool it would be to open up a Japanese video game bar in North America somewhere. The idea is to open a pub/grill with classic game systems at each table so you can have drinks with friends and play some vintage software. We talked a lot about the aesthetics and what we would do with the place. Relating it all to my friend reminded me how excited I was about the idea when Jen and I first came up with it.
However, I put it in the back of my mind long ago, even though it comes up every year at PAX, because even though it's a totally feasible idea, it never seemed like something "important" to me. I feel like my life has no worth if I'm not out there creating things, improving things and contributing in some grand way. To me, a life working at a bar never seemed like it could be fulfilling. I've seen a lot of people here in Japan, though, who have perfectly happy lives even though what they do for work could be considered menial. Out here, when you work for a corporation, you generally stay for life. That means that the people who spend their days greeting people, fixing UFO catchers and cleaning machines at Taito Game Station probably aren't going anywhere anytime soon.
I'm starting to think that grand gestures might not be as important as the people in your life that you affect. Opening a game bar would fill a very specific niche and provide people with an interesting place to hang out in. I know I'd love a place like that back home. Maybe that's why I want to do something big. I want to create a place for myself in the world, a position. Maybe it doesn't have to be a big position. Maybe I can make a small place and hold onto it, and as long as I have the people important to me close by, it'll be enough. The game bar plan is something I'd like to explore in the future, as I still want to at least attempt something big first. In ten years or so, when I have some more perspective on life, I might explore it in more depth.
I guess that about does it for my intro/retrospective blathering for one trip. I'll try to start blogging a little more to keep up with my writing and entertain the two of you who still come here. Until then, sayonara.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Japan Blog, Part 9
November 28th, 11:53am
Last night at Soke's class, I got to see some of our friends from the guest house pass their godan test. The godan (5th degree black belt) test is a special test that can only be performed when you're in Japan, and only at Soke's class. First, you're asked to sit in a kneeling posture with your eyes closed. A shihan (10th-15th degree black belt) will stand behind you with a shinai (bamboo training sword). When the shihan feels like it, he cuts down towards you. If you evade, you pass. If you get struck, you fail.
The purpose of the godan test is to measure your ability to sense killing intent. The shihan holding the shinai needs to generate a lot of hate for the strike to be readable to a potential godan. When taking the test, it's your job to completely empty your mind and wait. If you've trained enough, you'll feel when the time is right and your body will move if you're relaxed. It should be noted that in the past, this test was done with a live blade. If you met someone like Ishizuka, who trained with Hatsumi's teacher, Takamatsu, then you know he passed his godan test simply because he's still alive.
It sounds like weird Jedi shit, but I can tell you first-hand that the ability to feel intent is legit. Everybody has it. That feeling you get when people are looking at you is something most people are aware of. Being able to tell without looking that someone is angry at you is another example. This test is just the refined form of that basic feeling. We used to train with a similar technique. Our sensei would slowly stab towards us with an dull steel blade. If you're really calm when it happens, you feel a burning itch in your back somewhere, like a sense of discomfort. Your body doesn't like it, so you feel like moving. Then you turn around and realize that you were about an inch away from being stabbed.
Even being in the same room, you can feel the intent being projected by the shihan just before he cuts. At my level, I wouldn't be able to sense it quickly enough to move.
Here's a quick video demonstrating the test: Godan Test.
The godan test is interesting to me because it represents one of the few times in my life that I've felt no jealousy or personal regret when watching someone succeed at something. Usually, when peers do well at something, I wish it was me who succeeded at something, anything. Godan is weird, though. I'm genuinely happy for the people who pass it, especially if they're friends, and I don't feel anything negative. I can't really explain it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know I won't make it to godan, so I don't feel bad about not being at that point yet. It could also be that I'm actually capable of altruism. Who knows?
One more class today with Shiraishi-sensei and one tomorrow with Hatsumi-soke, and then I'm finished. I'm going to spend the last three days of my trip running a few errands and catching up on a few things. When I get home, I have to figure out my next career move. I'm trying not to think about it right now, because it's a little terrifying. I have this paralyzing feeling whenever I think about finding work and living as a writer. It stops my thought process completely and leaves me unable to work out a logical next step.
The only thing I can make out in the mental jumble is "apply to BioWare and pray". We'll give that a go and see what happens.
Last night at Soke's class, I got to see some of our friends from the guest house pass their godan test. The godan (5th degree black belt) test is a special test that can only be performed when you're in Japan, and only at Soke's class. First, you're asked to sit in a kneeling posture with your eyes closed. A shihan (10th-15th degree black belt) will stand behind you with a shinai (bamboo training sword). When the shihan feels like it, he cuts down towards you. If you evade, you pass. If you get struck, you fail.
The purpose of the godan test is to measure your ability to sense killing intent. The shihan holding the shinai needs to generate a lot of hate for the strike to be readable to a potential godan. When taking the test, it's your job to completely empty your mind and wait. If you've trained enough, you'll feel when the time is right and your body will move if you're relaxed. It should be noted that in the past, this test was done with a live blade. If you met someone like Ishizuka, who trained with Hatsumi's teacher, Takamatsu, then you know he passed his godan test simply because he's still alive.
It sounds like weird Jedi shit, but I can tell you first-hand that the ability to feel intent is legit. Everybody has it. That feeling you get when people are looking at you is something most people are aware of. Being able to tell without looking that someone is angry at you is another example. This test is just the refined form of that basic feeling. We used to train with a similar technique. Our sensei would slowly stab towards us with an dull steel blade. If you're really calm when it happens, you feel a burning itch in your back somewhere, like a sense of discomfort. Your body doesn't like it, so you feel like moving. Then you turn around and realize that you were about an inch away from being stabbed.
Even being in the same room, you can feel the intent being projected by the shihan just before he cuts. At my level, I wouldn't be able to sense it quickly enough to move.
Here's a quick video demonstrating the test: Godan Test.
The godan test is interesting to me because it represents one of the few times in my life that I've felt no jealousy or personal regret when watching someone succeed at something. Usually, when peers do well at something, I wish it was me who succeeded at something, anything. Godan is weird, though. I'm genuinely happy for the people who pass it, especially if they're friends, and I don't feel anything negative. I can't really explain it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I know I won't make it to godan, so I don't feel bad about not being at that point yet. It could also be that I'm actually capable of altruism. Who knows?
One more class today with Shiraishi-sensei and one tomorrow with Hatsumi-soke, and then I'm finished. I'm going to spend the last three days of my trip running a few errands and catching up on a few things. When I get home, I have to figure out my next career move. I'm trying not to think about it right now, because it's a little terrifying. I have this paralyzing feeling whenever I think about finding work and living as a writer. It stops my thought process completely and leaves me unable to work out a logical next step.
The only thing I can make out in the mental jumble is "apply to BioWare and pray". We'll give that a go and see what happens.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Japan Blog, Part 8
November 26th, 10:23am
Let's split this up with some advanced organizers so you can jump to the part that interests you the most.
Odaiba
On Monday, I took the day off of training and took a train into Odaiba. Odaiba is a series of man-made islands in the Tokyo bay. Development slumped in the early '90s, but now it's quite impressive.
My first stop was Sega Joypolis, an indoor amusement park with motion rides and arcade games. I finally got to try House of the Dead 4 Special, which is a special motion version of the game that has a chair that spins around so you can shoot at enemies behind you. If you get hit, or something in the environment collapses near you, a blast of air hits you in the face. It's actually really fun. After that, I hit up a game I can't remember that can be best described as WipeOut in a bobsled that spins a full 360 around the track. I was upside down quite a bit, just because. I beat the shit out of some Japanese kids who I was racing with. Canadia, bitch.
Joypolis also had a bunch of Sega arcade games on free play, so I finally got to play through House of the Dead EX. This one is a cartoony mini-game shooter more like Point Blank and less like HotD. You perform tasks like shooting apples into buckets, knocking out zombie sumo and pressing the foot pedal to leap over barrels. Everything you do moves a hand across the screen, and when the two player's hands meet, you win, so one strong player can make up for a weak one. The story basically amounts to zombie Romeo and Juliet. It's totally a date game, so like most of my dates, I finished it solo.
After Joypolis, I walked over to Palette Town to see the Toyota design showcase, where all of the newest cars are there for you to touch and sit in. I also rode the Sky Wheel, a 150-meter tall ferris wheel. I waited an extra 20 minutes to get a clear gondola. It was a nice ride, and I got quite a good view of Odaiba and the bay from up there. From there, I walked around and played games, took pictures of the amazing architecture and headed down to the beach. All of that walking took up most of the day, but I got to ride on the Yurikamome, a special train with rubber tires that services Odaiba. Think of it as a really long car that rides on a small paved highway with locks to keep it on the track. Fun stuff.
Windows 7 Whopper
Burger King in Japan is celebrating the release of Windows 7 with the Windows 7 Whopper, a 7-patty monstrosity of a burger that doesn't even make the staff flinch when you order it. I have pics that will go up soon so you can see exactly what kind of an abomination we're dealing with.
I made sure to completely format my C:// drive before ordering this new OS, as I was anticipating the purchase. Installation went alright, if a little shaky due to the file size. However, about 3/4 of the way through the install, I ran out of hard disk space. It was touch and go for awhile, and I thought I might break my partition for a second. I still haven't completely cleared my cache, and I won't be installing another OS for quite awhile.
Training
I'm still resigned to quitting training. I'm skipping daikomyosai, a massive 3-day seminar, simply because the cost, frustration and knee pain will be too much for me to handle. That means that this Sunday the 30th is my last day as a ninja.
I did have a few good classes, though. We went to see Rob Renner, an American living, training and teaching out here. His class was interesting because he focuses a lot on body mechanics and the science behind taijutsu. It helped me understand a few things about stretching, primary distance and punching technique. My rolls are apparently better than I thought, too. Not amazing, but okay.
So far, I've been up to perform a technique during Hatsumi's class three times. The first two went okay. The third was a disaster. I didn't understand that the technique we were doing was a hajutsu - a counter where the attacker strikes, is countered, and then counters the counter. I didn't know what to do so I did my best deer-in-headlights imitation in front of about 60 budoka. Eventually I finished my uke off with a simple ura gyaku because I totally forgot what I was supposed to do. I don't think anyone held it against me, since I'm just a green belt that nobody knows.
Of all the Shihan I've trained with, Noguchi is my favorite. He was showing us last night how to stop a punch with a five-finger strike that's actually quite effective. I had a dickhead uke who was punching full-force and I managed to stuff his strike with a shot to his shoulder. It's one of the first times since I arrived that I felt like something I did was effective and painful.
However, it's still not enough to change my mind. Hatsumi has been saying that this is his last year, and he's retiring soon. He hasn't chosen a new soke yet, and nobody knows what will happen. A few years back, when he thought he was dying, he divided up the scrolls among the top shihan. If he didn't pick a soke then, when he was on his "deathbed", then I don't think he's found anyone he deems worthy yet. It's my worry that the art will be divided among several people and eventually be perverted by all of the absolutely terrible people who get rank and position and actually fight worse than I do.
More Games
I totally forgot that Aksys was releasing BlazBlue: Continuum Shift last week, so seeing it at Taito Game Station was a surprise. Some of my old favorite characters have changed quite a bit, and the new characters are definitely unique. Tsubaki is heavily based around long combo chains and using her Drive to charge up her specials, while Hazama is like Scorpion from MK, except he can attach his chain to empty space and pull himself in to position himself for ridiculous juggled. I was thrashed every time I played by a Japanese school girl.
Club Sega had a whole bunch of empty Melty Blood: Actress Again machines. I've been meaning to try Melty Blood for awhile now, but I've never seen a machine before. It's basically a low-quality ripoff of an Aksys game with shitty production values and shallow gameplay that encourages mashing. I was mashing my way through arcade mode undefeated until some guy joined my game and stomped me flat. I'm glad. It saved me time.
Closing
I'll have more pics up soon. I keep forgetting my camera card upstairs. I also have a bunch of video I shot, but the connection here is too unstable to upload them. I'll try to have them up when I get back.
Nothing too exciting is going on for a few days, so I might not be back with a blog unless something noteworthy happens. I'm mostly going to be resting and taking in a class a day. If I see any more ridiculous burgers, though, I'll be sure to wreck my colon to bring you a report.
Let's split this up with some advanced organizers so you can jump to the part that interests you the most.
Odaiba
On Monday, I took the day off of training and took a train into Odaiba. Odaiba is a series of man-made islands in the Tokyo bay. Development slumped in the early '90s, but now it's quite impressive.
My first stop was Sega Joypolis, an indoor amusement park with motion rides and arcade games. I finally got to try House of the Dead 4 Special, which is a special motion version of the game that has a chair that spins around so you can shoot at enemies behind you. If you get hit, or something in the environment collapses near you, a blast of air hits you in the face. It's actually really fun. After that, I hit up a game I can't remember that can be best described as WipeOut in a bobsled that spins a full 360 around the track. I was upside down quite a bit, just because. I beat the shit out of some Japanese kids who I was racing with. Canadia, bitch.
Joypolis also had a bunch of Sega arcade games on free play, so I finally got to play through House of the Dead EX. This one is a cartoony mini-game shooter more like Point Blank and less like HotD. You perform tasks like shooting apples into buckets, knocking out zombie sumo and pressing the foot pedal to leap over barrels. Everything you do moves a hand across the screen, and when the two player's hands meet, you win, so one strong player can make up for a weak one. The story basically amounts to zombie Romeo and Juliet. It's totally a date game, so like most of my dates, I finished it solo.
After Joypolis, I walked over to Palette Town to see the Toyota design showcase, where all of the newest cars are there for you to touch and sit in. I also rode the Sky Wheel, a 150-meter tall ferris wheel. I waited an extra 20 minutes to get a clear gondola. It was a nice ride, and I got quite a good view of Odaiba and the bay from up there. From there, I walked around and played games, took pictures of the amazing architecture and headed down to the beach. All of that walking took up most of the day, but I got to ride on the Yurikamome, a special train with rubber tires that services Odaiba. Think of it as a really long car that rides on a small paved highway with locks to keep it on the track. Fun stuff.
Windows 7 Whopper
Burger King in Japan is celebrating the release of Windows 7 with the Windows 7 Whopper, a 7-patty monstrosity of a burger that doesn't even make the staff flinch when you order it. I have pics that will go up soon so you can see exactly what kind of an abomination we're dealing with.
I made sure to completely format my C:// drive before ordering this new OS, as I was anticipating the purchase. Installation went alright, if a little shaky due to the file size. However, about 3/4 of the way through the install, I ran out of hard disk space. It was touch and go for awhile, and I thought I might break my partition for a second. I still haven't completely cleared my cache, and I won't be installing another OS for quite awhile.
Training
I'm still resigned to quitting training. I'm skipping daikomyosai, a massive 3-day seminar, simply because the cost, frustration and knee pain will be too much for me to handle. That means that this Sunday the 30th is my last day as a ninja.
I did have a few good classes, though. We went to see Rob Renner, an American living, training and teaching out here. His class was interesting because he focuses a lot on body mechanics and the science behind taijutsu. It helped me understand a few things about stretching, primary distance and punching technique. My rolls are apparently better than I thought, too. Not amazing, but okay.
So far, I've been up to perform a technique during Hatsumi's class three times. The first two went okay. The third was a disaster. I didn't understand that the technique we were doing was a hajutsu - a counter where the attacker strikes, is countered, and then counters the counter. I didn't know what to do so I did my best deer-in-headlights imitation in front of about 60 budoka. Eventually I finished my uke off with a simple ura gyaku because I totally forgot what I was supposed to do. I don't think anyone held it against me, since I'm just a green belt that nobody knows.
Of all the Shihan I've trained with, Noguchi is my favorite. He was showing us last night how to stop a punch with a five-finger strike that's actually quite effective. I had a dickhead uke who was punching full-force and I managed to stuff his strike with a shot to his shoulder. It's one of the first times since I arrived that I felt like something I did was effective and painful.
However, it's still not enough to change my mind. Hatsumi has been saying that this is his last year, and he's retiring soon. He hasn't chosen a new soke yet, and nobody knows what will happen. A few years back, when he thought he was dying, he divided up the scrolls among the top shihan. If he didn't pick a soke then, when he was on his "deathbed", then I don't think he's found anyone he deems worthy yet. It's my worry that the art will be divided among several people and eventually be perverted by all of the absolutely terrible people who get rank and position and actually fight worse than I do.
More Games
I totally forgot that Aksys was releasing BlazBlue: Continuum Shift last week, so seeing it at Taito Game Station was a surprise. Some of my old favorite characters have changed quite a bit, and the new characters are definitely unique. Tsubaki is heavily based around long combo chains and using her Drive to charge up her specials, while Hazama is like Scorpion from MK, except he can attach his chain to empty space and pull himself in to position himself for ridiculous juggled. I was thrashed every time I played by a Japanese school girl.
Club Sega had a whole bunch of empty Melty Blood: Actress Again machines. I've been meaning to try Melty Blood for awhile now, but I've never seen a machine before. It's basically a low-quality ripoff of an Aksys game with shitty production values and shallow gameplay that encourages mashing. I was mashing my way through arcade mode undefeated until some guy joined my game and stomped me flat. I'm glad. It saved me time.
Closing
I'll have more pics up soon. I keep forgetting my camera card upstairs. I also have a bunch of video I shot, but the connection here is too unstable to upload them. I'll try to have them up when I get back.
Nothing too exciting is going on for a few days, so I might not be back with a blog unless something noteworthy happens. I'm mostly going to be resting and taking in a class a day. If I see any more ridiculous burgers, though, I'll be sure to wreck my colon to bring you a report.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Japan Blog, Part 7
I'm feeling a little better today. Things are rough, and the training is hurting my brain more and more, but I've calmed down a little. I'm still pretty sure that I'm going to quit when I get home, but I'm still going to one class a day.
Hatsumi-soke's classes at the honbu are a little different than most. He'll ask someone to do a technique, then he'll tell you to "go, play". You get maybe two shots at it with your partner before he calls you back to adjust it. Go, play. Maybe one attempt later, you're back again, adjusting. Go, play. This continues for quite some time, so your mind is getting a workout, and you're experimenting, but NOBODY is getting anything just right. Not even the shihan.
During the break, we brew tea and watch Hatsumi-soke do calligraphy. If you bring him some paper, he'll paint something for you. I finally decided what I wanted painted, so I went and bought a large burgundy-lined scroll before class. When I sat down, he started painting kanji before I could even open my mouth. I ended up with a beautiful scroll filled with whatever happened to be on his mind at the time. Maybe I'll get the whole thing translated someday. I'll definitely hang it when I get home.
Last night, the manager of the guest house we're staying at took all of us Canadians out for a meal. While there, I ended up having a conversation about teaching English in Japan. It's a cliche thing to do, for sure, but apparently it's really easy to get a job if you have a degree. I'll have mine at the end of January. You can get a working holiday Visa after that and basically live out here and teach English.
I'm entertaining it as a possibility, even though I've said in the past that I'm looking forward to coming home. I do like it here. Japan is interesting. It's just that my current situation isn't so hot. A lot of things would have to change first. For one, I'd want a small apartment to live in, not a guest house with a communal kitchen and very little upkeep. Second, and more importantly, I'd want a better understanding of the Japanese language and culture. I really enjoy the language. I love listening to it and trying to pick up things. I think I'd like to take another crack at properly learning it.
If I could speak enough Japanese to work out here, read enough to understand menus and signs and boxes, and write enough to produce simple essays and articles, I would feel a lot more confident about being here. I might come back again someday, to work or to visit, when I have a better understanding of Japanese. It might even mesh well with my communications background. I could be a localization expert or a consultant. Who knows?
Some quick bits:
Hatsumi-soke's classes at the honbu are a little different than most. He'll ask someone to do a technique, then he'll tell you to "go, play". You get maybe two shots at it with your partner before he calls you back to adjust it. Go, play. Maybe one attempt later, you're back again, adjusting. Go, play. This continues for quite some time, so your mind is getting a workout, and you're experimenting, but NOBODY is getting anything just right. Not even the shihan.
During the break, we brew tea and watch Hatsumi-soke do calligraphy. If you bring him some paper, he'll paint something for you. I finally decided what I wanted painted, so I went and bought a large burgundy-lined scroll before class. When I sat down, he started painting kanji before I could even open my mouth. I ended up with a beautiful scroll filled with whatever happened to be on his mind at the time. Maybe I'll get the whole thing translated someday. I'll definitely hang it when I get home.
Last night, the manager of the guest house we're staying at took all of us Canadians out for a meal. While there, I ended up having a conversation about teaching English in Japan. It's a cliche thing to do, for sure, but apparently it's really easy to get a job if you have a degree. I'll have mine at the end of January. You can get a working holiday Visa after that and basically live out here and teach English.
I'm entertaining it as a possibility, even though I've said in the past that I'm looking forward to coming home. I do like it here. Japan is interesting. It's just that my current situation isn't so hot. A lot of things would have to change first. For one, I'd want a small apartment to live in, not a guest house with a communal kitchen and very little upkeep. Second, and more importantly, I'd want a better understanding of the Japanese language and culture. I really enjoy the language. I love listening to it and trying to pick up things. I think I'd like to take another crack at properly learning it.
If I could speak enough Japanese to work out here, read enough to understand menus and signs and boxes, and write enough to produce simple essays and articles, I would feel a lot more confident about being here. I might come back again someday, to work or to visit, when I have a better understanding of Japanese. It might even mesh well with my communications background. I could be a localization expert or a consultant. Who knows?
Some quick bits:
- I'm going into Odaiba tomorrow at the recommendation of an anonymous poster. Thanks for the suggestion. Rain or shine, I'll get pictures.
- I bought some great shirts. I'll have pics up later, along with my scroll if I can swing it.
- On Tuesday, I'm taking a friend to Akihabara to show him Super Potato. I'll have pics of that too.
- I tried a Calorie Mate. It was in a vending machine, not spinning just above the ground. If you've ever had bad astronaut ice cream, you've had Calorie Mate.
- Speaking of which, in case I forget, remind me to talk about the random food products I've been eating. There's some stuff that defies explanation, but I'll try.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Japan Blog, Part 6
November 18th, 10:16pm
You should probably skip this blog. Fair warning.
I had some time to sit and do some birthday reflecting and introspection on Monday. I decided to take the day off to head out to Shinjuku to see the massive park there. I couldn't find the way in, and the info office was closed, so I ended up hanging out at an arcade instead and having a slow-paced day.
While I was out, I saw some more homeless people. I didn't mention it in my Akiba blog, but I saw some out there as well. The thing is, I didn't realize these people were homeless at first. I made eye contact with and greeted a lady sitting on a dolly along with a bunch of tarps. I thought she was just sitting down. I explored a little and saw some more homes made of tarps, boxes and other haphazard materials.
Japanese homeless are a lot different than homeless people back home. For one, they don't ask for money. Second, people don't seem to regard them with the same level of disgust that most people harbor for Western homeless people. It's generally understood that anybody can go through hard times ever since the war, so people have a better attitude about the whole situation. But most importantly of all, Japanese homeless people seem to have a lot more dignity and self-respect. While you'll find the odd drunk or tweaker in the bunch, most of the homeless people I've seen act the same as everyone else. As I walked along the row of tarp tents, I saw rows of shoes lining the fronts of the houses. I saw garbage piled into one place and generally not scattered around. Even though they live in poverty, they don't use it as an excuse to turn into animals.
It really got me thinking. Things are different over here, sometimes drastically so, but I think people are the same no matter where you go. Everybody needs food, shelter and warmth. Everybody wants comfort, security and love. We might go about getting those things in different ways, but we're all after the same things. I don't really place a whole lot of importance on other people, but being out here has made me realize that average people mean a lot more than I thought.
But while I care more about the people in my life, my focus is still on my own skill. I still put supreme importance on my talents and abilities. It's this focus that's caused this last week to hurt so much. I've come to the conclusion that, despite my efforts, I haven't improved at anything over the last year. Whether it's martial arts, writing or videogames, I just can't seem to win. I'm surrounded by my own failures. I'm not getting any techniques in class. I'm not getting any better at writing by keeping this blog. I'm not getting any better at games no matter how much I play and how many times I go to the arcade. I'm sick of it. It doesn't matter what I do.
My practicum will be over in January, and then I'm supposed to go to BC. I don't know if I want to be a writer anymore, let alone a game writer. I don't know what I'll do for work. Furthermore, once this trip is over, I'm quitting ninjutsu. I'll go to classes while I'm out here and hope for some magic to happen, but as it stands, I'm not cut out for this art. I'm not getting any stronger, mentally or physically. I'm even thinking that I might stop playing videogames for awhile. They're the center of my life, but I can't handle being so terrible at them.
Tomorrow, I'm only doing 2 classes. Friday, I might only do one. I'm starting to burn out, and soon, I'll be out of steam. I probably won't be taking many more pictures, either. For me, this trip is already over. I'm just holding out until I can come home with my tail between my legs and sink back into my insignificant life. I don't have the time or the money to do anything really spectacular, so I'm just going to go to and from training.
By visiting Japan, I've checked off yet another thing on my list of things that I was looking forward to doing in my lifetime. There isn't a whole lot left on the list.
You should probably skip this blog. Fair warning.
I had some time to sit and do some birthday reflecting and introspection on Monday. I decided to take the day off to head out to Shinjuku to see the massive park there. I couldn't find the way in, and the info office was closed, so I ended up hanging out at an arcade instead and having a slow-paced day.
While I was out, I saw some more homeless people. I didn't mention it in my Akiba blog, but I saw some out there as well. The thing is, I didn't realize these people were homeless at first. I made eye contact with and greeted a lady sitting on a dolly along with a bunch of tarps. I thought she was just sitting down. I explored a little and saw some more homes made of tarps, boxes and other haphazard materials.
Japanese homeless are a lot different than homeless people back home. For one, they don't ask for money. Second, people don't seem to regard them with the same level of disgust that most people harbor for Western homeless people. It's generally understood that anybody can go through hard times ever since the war, so people have a better attitude about the whole situation. But most importantly of all, Japanese homeless people seem to have a lot more dignity and self-respect. While you'll find the odd drunk or tweaker in the bunch, most of the homeless people I've seen act the same as everyone else. As I walked along the row of tarp tents, I saw rows of shoes lining the fronts of the houses. I saw garbage piled into one place and generally not scattered around. Even though they live in poverty, they don't use it as an excuse to turn into animals.
It really got me thinking. Things are different over here, sometimes drastically so, but I think people are the same no matter where you go. Everybody needs food, shelter and warmth. Everybody wants comfort, security and love. We might go about getting those things in different ways, but we're all after the same things. I don't really place a whole lot of importance on other people, but being out here has made me realize that average people mean a lot more than I thought.
But while I care more about the people in my life, my focus is still on my own skill. I still put supreme importance on my talents and abilities. It's this focus that's caused this last week to hurt so much. I've come to the conclusion that, despite my efforts, I haven't improved at anything over the last year. Whether it's martial arts, writing or videogames, I just can't seem to win. I'm surrounded by my own failures. I'm not getting any techniques in class. I'm not getting any better at writing by keeping this blog. I'm not getting any better at games no matter how much I play and how many times I go to the arcade. I'm sick of it. It doesn't matter what I do.
My practicum will be over in January, and then I'm supposed to go to BC. I don't know if I want to be a writer anymore, let alone a game writer. I don't know what I'll do for work. Furthermore, once this trip is over, I'm quitting ninjutsu. I'll go to classes while I'm out here and hope for some magic to happen, but as it stands, I'm not cut out for this art. I'm not getting any stronger, mentally or physically. I'm even thinking that I might stop playing videogames for awhile. They're the center of my life, but I can't handle being so terrible at them.
Tomorrow, I'm only doing 2 classes. Friday, I might only do one. I'm starting to burn out, and soon, I'll be out of steam. I probably won't be taking many more pictures, either. For me, this trip is already over. I'm just holding out until I can come home with my tail between my legs and sink back into my insignificant life. I don't have the time or the money to do anything really spectacular, so I'm just going to go to and from training.
By visiting Japan, I've checked off yet another thing on my list of things that I was looking forward to doing in my lifetime. There isn't a whole lot left on the list.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Japan Pictures
You can find them in my album on flickr. I'll add more as I take them. If you have me on Facebook, you can see them there as well.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Japan Blog, Part 5
November 15th, 9:07am
Training with Seno-sensei and Oguri-sensei wrecked my knees, but I had a good time. I don't think I caught too much, but I'm sure my body caught more than my mind did. Oguri-sensei's structure is mindblowing. His posture and position put him in such a place that he can shift forward and throw your entire body off-balance. Experiencing it directly was a little scary, but it helped. I can't even begin to replicate his technique, but at least now I know that it's possible.
I had another freaky moment when I trained with Oguri-sensei's daughter. She's 16 and very friendly, and she speaks enough English to explain simple concepts. The scary part was two-fold. One, I was worried about what Oguri would do to me if I accidentally offended her. Two, her father is a shihan, so I was doubly worried about what she would do to me. She has one of the best right-punches I've ever seen. Turns out I didn't have to worry very much, because she was really nice and helpful and even corrected my posture for me by adjusting my knees and feet so I got a feeling similar to Oguri-sensei's. I was pretty thankful for that.
After class, we stopped by a shrine in Noda to walk around for awhile. It was really humbling to see these ancient structures and stones covered with moss older than I am. I took a bunch of pictures. It occurred to me that I have no pictures of Japan with me in them. I think I prefer it that way.
Later, I had a birthday beer and we went out for Korean barbecue again for a meal. We went to a different place this time, but it was just as good, though a little pricey. Today, I'm taking it easy, because my knees are stinging when I bend too much. I'm going to take in a class with Hatsumi-soke, do some laundry maybe, and hit up a Mos Burger. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off to rest, so I'll definitely have photos up by then. I'm thinking of just adding a public album to my photobucket account and dropping the pics on FB rather than clogging my blog with them. Either way, I'll link the visual evidence of my adventure so far.
Training with Seno-sensei and Oguri-sensei wrecked my knees, but I had a good time. I don't think I caught too much, but I'm sure my body caught more than my mind did. Oguri-sensei's structure is mindblowing. His posture and position put him in such a place that he can shift forward and throw your entire body off-balance. Experiencing it directly was a little scary, but it helped. I can't even begin to replicate his technique, but at least now I know that it's possible.
I had another freaky moment when I trained with Oguri-sensei's daughter. She's 16 and very friendly, and she speaks enough English to explain simple concepts. The scary part was two-fold. One, I was worried about what Oguri would do to me if I accidentally offended her. Two, her father is a shihan, so I was doubly worried about what she would do to me. She has one of the best right-punches I've ever seen. Turns out I didn't have to worry very much, because she was really nice and helpful and even corrected my posture for me by adjusting my knees and feet so I got a feeling similar to Oguri-sensei's. I was pretty thankful for that.
After class, we stopped by a shrine in Noda to walk around for awhile. It was really humbling to see these ancient structures and stones covered with moss older than I am. I took a bunch of pictures. It occurred to me that I have no pictures of Japan with me in them. I think I prefer it that way.
Later, I had a birthday beer and we went out for Korean barbecue again for a meal. We went to a different place this time, but it was just as good, though a little pricey. Today, I'm taking it easy, because my knees are stinging when I bend too much. I'm going to take in a class with Hatsumi-soke, do some laundry maybe, and hit up a Mos Burger. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off to rest, so I'll definitely have photos up by then. I'm thinking of just adding a public album to my photobucket account and dropping the pics on FB rather than clogging my blog with them. Either way, I'll link the visual evidence of my adventure so far.
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